Category: Misc

“Some Mid Apocalypse Type Business”

These aren’t essays, they’re dispatches. An essay has an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. It is a piece to camera, the middle of a debate, or a persuasive paper. This is just a memorial, a time capsule, a record of where we were. It’s been seven weeks, it could be more or less for you, seven weeks since the… Read more →

Essential

I just wanted to listen to the rain. It is, likely, one of the last morning rains we will have until winter and I wanted to lie there and listen to it. I would call it a simple pleasure, but I am aware that it is a complicated privilege to have a bed, a roof, and a window. I couldn’t… Read more →

Zoning is racist as hell

San Francisco was the home of the first attempt to using zoning to enforce racial segregation. In 1885, the city banned public laundries from most areas, to appease homeowners who thought the Chinese-run laundries lowered their property values.  Between the end of WWII and 1968, the Federal Housing Administration (FHA) enforced an explicit policy of racial discrimination in mortgage lending.… Read more →

Deadspin – EiT 11/01/19

Everything is terrible. Deadspin Got Fucked I love sports. Deadspin was the first website that I would read in the morning. I would check in on it every couple of hours throughout the day. I didn’t do that because of the sports, though, I did it because of everything. There are dozens of websites, Twitter feeds, and television stations that… Read more →

Why relationships get boring

I think I’ve identified the exact moment I often stop finding a new lover exciting. A new lover is limitless potential. Anything can happen! The less you know about them, the easier it is to project endless possibilities onto them and the relationship. Maybe they’ll become a lifelong nesting partner or help me grow in important ways or help me… Read more →

Turkey Defecation

No one tells you about the turkey shit. Sure, they wax on and on about how “you have to fix everything that breaks. There’s no landlord.” You know, in case during the process of house hunting I forgot how the ownership of property works. Yet none of the housesplainers talked about how wild turkeys will break into your backyard, eat… Read more →

Smoking is Dangerous and Fun

A long time ago, the FDA released some of its potential cigarette box warnings. Most of them were so over the top, they’re unintentionally hilarious. I added my own captions to some of the warning labels.  Enjoy. Original: Updated: Original: Updated: Original: Updated: Original:  Updated: Original: Updated: Read more →

What to do if you come across Robbie

I posted this in the Facebook group for my graduating class. No one liked it. The holidays are upon us. And like many of you, I will be visiting my family in good ol’ Tehachapi. Unlike many of you, my inability to interact socially has increased 10-fold. I’ve moved from Boo Radley-level shyness straight up to Howard Hughes-Def Con-Five shyness.… Read more →

Facebook Messenger is Your New God

Post from 2017 Facebook’s F8 developer conference has yielded very good news for fans of Messenger. You remember Messenger? It was the app Facebook sort of forced you to download to your phone if you wanted to have a private chat with your friends. It’s like the free U2 album of software. You didn’t really want it, but oh well… Read more →

Tacotober Rules

31 Tacos in 31 days All hail the power of Tacos! These are the rules as dictated to me by the father of Tacotober – Brian K. 1. Any mixture of two or more traditional items in a folded tortilla constitutes a full taco. 2. Traditional items are: beans, meat, cheese, salsa, rice, avocado, guacamole, lettuce, cilantro etc. You know,… Read more →