Category: Misc
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“Some Mid Apocalypse Type Business”
These aren’t essays, they’re dispatches. An essay has an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. It is a piece to camera, the middle of a debate, or a persuasive paper. This is just a memorial, a time capsule, a record of where we were. It’s been seven weeks, it could be more or less for…
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Essential
I just wanted to listen to the rain. It is, likely, one of the last morning rains we will have until winter and I wanted to lie there and listen to it. I would call it a simple pleasure, but I am aware that it is a complicated privilege to have a bed, a roof,…
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Why relationships get boring
I think I’ve identified the exact moment I often stop finding a new lover exciting. A new lover is limitless potential. Anything can happen! The less you know about them, the easier it is to project endless possibilities onto them and the relationship. Maybe they’ll become a lifelong nesting partner or help me grow in…
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Turkey Defecation
No one tells you about the turkey shit. Sure, they wax on and on about how “you have to fix everything that breaks. There’s no landlord.” You know, in case during the process of house hunting I forgot how the ownership of property works. Yet none of the housesplainers talked about how wild turkeys will…
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Smoking is Dangerous and Fun
A long time ago, the FDA released some of its potential cigarette box warnings. Most of them were so over the top, they’re unintentionally hilarious. I added my own captions to some of the warning labels. Enjoy. Original: Updated: Original: Updated: Original: Updated: Original: Updated: Original: Updated:
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So you’re drunk and you want a ride home…
If you are drunk and need a ride home I will be happy to oblige. Because I care about your well being and don’t want you to end up in a suburban prison with a disheveled post-bachelorett-party soccer mom with raccoon eyes. But, there are a few things you should know: 1. There is no…
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What to do if you come across Robbie
I posted this in the Facebook group for my graduating class. No one liked it. The holidays are upon us. And like many of you, I will be visiting my family in good ol’ Tehachapi. Unlike many of you, my inability to interact socially has increased 10-fold. I’ve moved from Boo Radley-level shyness straight up…
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Facebook Messenger is Your New God
Post from 2017 Facebook’s F8 developer conference has yielded very good news for fans of Messenger. You remember Messenger? It was the app Facebook sort of forced you to download to your phone if you wanted to have a private chat with your friends. It’s like the free U2 album of software. You didn’t really…
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Hey, look. CATS!
A Collection on Twitter
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Tacotober Rules
31 Tacos in 31 days All hail the power of Tacos! These are the rules as dictated to me by the father of Tacotober – Brian K. 1. Any mixture of two or more traditional items in a folded tortilla constitutes a full taco. 2. Traditional items are: beans, meat, cheese, salsa, rice, avocado, guacamole,…
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